Relying on God

In my last post I mentioned how a lot of things were crowding in on me.  In just the past month, a lot of things have come up and it just seemed as if everything was dumped on me at once.  I was so confused about everything at that time that I almost didn't know what was real.  It's weird, but true.  And the load was so heavy that I almost forgot to approach the Lord with it.  But I did, and He started helping me with things one by one.

But during that time I couldn't figure out why everything happened at once, just out of the blue.  There was nothing I could lay my finger on and say, That's it, that's the reason this is all raining down on me.  Until one night I was writing in my journal (sometimes, writing things out, telling myself exactly what I think, really helps in identifying the problem) and it just came out; and I stared at what I'd written on the page thinking, Oh, that's why.  It's funny how things come out in writing that can't be said with words.

I think the reason (if it's not the whole reason, it's part of the reason) everything came on me at once was so that I would be left with nothing.  Nothing I could firmly hold onto or point to and say, This.  This is what will happen.  Or, That is what I'm counting on.  Or, I'm sure of this.  

God took everything that I knew, was counting on, and was sure of away from me.  The only thing I had left was Himself.  And I think that right there is the point.  I was feeling pretty good, pretty confident, very sure of myself until everything seemed to crumble.  Then I felt so weak because I had nothing I could hold on to - it all lay in a million pieces at my feet. 

Next thing I knew, God directed my attention towards Him.  It took me a little while to come to the correct conclusion, though.  Knowing my Lord was right there beside me was very comforting, but I still didn't know which way my life was going.  I felt as though I had no control over my life, that I wasn't the one holding the steering wheel.  And that's what made me feel so weak, I think. 

I finally realized I didn't lose everything, because I had everything in Christ.  I know the Lord will do what He wills; and I know I can count on Him always; and I know I can forever be sure of Him.  Everything on this earth will pass away and die, but Christ is forever.  If Christ is the only thing I have, He's the only thing I need.

Shortly after that, I remembered the verse "...my strength is made perfect in weakness..."   And it just encouraged me so much.

So I see that I am strong when Christ is all there is.  Because nothing else is certain.  But Christ is a sure foundation, a safe haven, a shelter in the time of storm.  Nothing can knock me down or even get close enough to try when I lean on this Rock.

I'm learning to rely on God, and God alone.  It's so much more of a  better place than thinking I'm relying on something that's firm but really isn't.  There's a noticeable difference.  And there's a sweet peace that comes with leaving your life in God's hands and not trying to take control yourself. 

We must keep pressing on.  No matter how weak we feel, we must not give in to selfish feelings.  It is so much the better for us to leave our lives in God's hands.  Fear not.  He will take care of us.

A Walk of a Lifetime

I went for a walk around the lake the other day that's about 11/2 miles from our house.  I needed some time alone with the Lord.  Lately a lot of things have seemed to be crowding in around me, leaving me almost no room to breathe, and I wanted to lay everything at His feet and give it all to Him without any interruption.  It was a beautiful day: nice, warm, and sunshiny.  But a storm was starting to roll in; the wind started blowing, clouds began covering the mountains, and little waves were forming on the lake.  It still made for a beautiful day; I love storms, and the storm was only coming in slowly.

There's a sidewalk surrounding the lake where most people walk, and in occasional spots you'll see people right up to, or even in the lake, fishing or wading or just hanging out.  I normally just walk around the lake on the walkway provided, but this time about 3/4 of the way around I decided to go and sit on the rocks by the water for a while, just thinking and praying.

I was watching the water (water is very beautiful in the way it flows) and how it moved for several minutes when my attention was suddenly fixated on one of the bigger waves (even though they were all small).  I watched it as it came rolling towards the shore and me.  I watched as it got a little bigger and the water underneath it seemed to push it even a little higher.  Then I saw it break on the rocks sticking up out of the water and all of a sudden fall almost flat and get thinner and thinner as it spread as far as it possibly could onto the shore.

And I thought how similar are the trials we go through.  When we're going through them, they just seem to get bigger and bigger.  But if we cling to our Rock, the Most High God, He will carry us through, the trials will break around Him and get smaller and smaller as we trust in Him.

And then I noticed the birds.  There were lots of birds flying over the lake, riding the wind, dipping down to catch bugs that were floating on the water.  They would fly right into the wind, or hover in one place as the wind came towards them.  Not once did I see a single bird get blown backwards because of the force of the wind.  And they weren't afraid to dive down towards the upset water.

And this reminded me that should the Lord our God bring us through trials - to winds that rage against our soul, waves that roar and rise higher and higher threatening to overwhelm us - it is our duty to obey.  It is our joy to walk through such a storm, knowing that our Lord and Saviour will not let us go.  And He'll be right there beside us.  All we must do is call upon His name.

In one spot around the lake, the path turns and you can't see what's up ahead.  I thought of Much Afraid (from the book Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard - a very good read by the way) and the journey she took to the High Places.  In a certain place in the book, just when it seemed that the road she was on was leading back to the High Places, it took a turn and led her into an even lower valley.  The Shepherd did this to teach her a specific lesson.

Our lives are journeys.  And our lives do not belong to ourselves.  God created us and He creates a different path for each individual person.  And if we step off our designated road and choose to go our own way, He chastens us an brings us back (just like He did with Christian in Pilgrim's Progress).  Sometimes we can't see what's up ahead.  Sometimes the waves will toss to and fro about us.  Sometimes the wind will be so strong we'll feel that we can't push against it.  In times like these we have only to call out the Saviour's name and He's there, comforting us and holding our hand and walking with us.

We live day by day, not year to year.  Every morning we must rise and seek the Father's face.  We must intreat Him to stay by our side and give us grace, strength, courage, and faith to face each trial that comes our way.  If we miss one morning, or get tired and not pray whole-heartedly, the things of that day will probably not go well for us.  But as long as we trust in Him and desire Him to be Lord over our lives, He will give us strength for each passing day.

While I was walking around the lake I was listening to hymns, and this is one that stuck out at me:

In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This cornerstone,this solid ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.

My comforter, my all in all,

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone.  Heights of love.  Depths of peace.  He is my God and He gives me these things when I've done nothing for them.

Praise the Lord, He knows all things!  He knows when to send trials and lessons.  He knows when to send peace.  And I know I am His and He is mine, and He will never let me go.

I snapped a picture the day I walked around the lake.

 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? 
and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
~Matthew 10:29-31~

The Most Wonderful Place

I once heard that there was a Place, a Place where all one's dreams come true.  A Place where you need not fear the slightest harm.  A Place where everyone wears a happy face.  A Place where chores are not a bear to do.  A Place where it does neither rain nor storm.

So I set out to find this Place.  I asked my friends if they knew where it was.  Most laughed and said it was a made-up land, a grand deception lined with lace.  But I believed as many a soul does that the Place was somewhere I could firmly stand.

I was desperate to find this Place.  I began asking everyone I came across, but no one knew what I was really talking about.  One man said it was his pretty wife's face.  Another, for what I was asking, was at a total loss. And one even looked at me in doubt.

But of this Place I was sure.  I would travel the world and find it on my own,  and prove to all the people that I was not mad.  I stood on Europe's shores, but it was not there.  I looked in Asia, but that seemed a dead-end zone.  It seemed that every happy place there was was also sad.

I began to give up hope on this Place.  Perhaps I was a little crazy for believing it real.  I was living with no purpose anymore until a man came into view.  He was so old he looked a bit of a space-case.  But when he looked at me, his eyes pulled me in like a reel.  He said nothing, only turned around and pointed into the blue.

I looked where he was pointing, but saw nothing there.  He sensed that I didn't see and again drew me back with his eyes.  Then he points again to the same Place.  The sun is in my eyes so there is a glare.  He knows I can't see it and in sadness he sighs.  This time he takes my hand and all selfish thoughts erase.

A look in his eyes and he bids me walk with him.  I can't pull away, don't even want to.  My eyes are fixed on his, but he looks straight ahead.  It's as if he is resolved and nothing will stop him.  He's come for a reason and his resolve will come through.  He'll carry it out no matter if it takes to the moment before I'm dead.

He looks at me once, but I can't read his expression.  Is it just plain gentleness? Or is it joy? Perhaps anticipation.  And in that moment he stops and bids me look around.  I pull my eyes away from his, they're drawn to one object and there's no question:  There stands a cross, so present, like a strong declaration  that for me the Son of God was driven to a grave in the ground.

I'm taken completely off guard and feel tears start to well up.  I look into the face of my companion, but he's been transformed.  He wears a kingly robe and on his head a crown, and his face shines.  And for the first time he speaks, "This is the cup, This is the cup I drank for you, so that you could be reborn.  So that you would come to this place and I would make you mine."

On my knees my tears are streaming now and he's smiling so beautifully.  "I saw you before you were in this world," he says,  "And not for works of righteousness which you have done,

but you were chosen for my own glory."  He bids me leave my burdens at the cross and tells me he will set me in a winning race to run.

 He again takes my hand in his and we begin to walk.  He tells me of his kingdom, his love, and how I must be a living testimony for him; that I'll fear no harm as long as I'm by his side; at the tasks he'll bid me do, I'll not want to balk; I'll be happy and rejoicing all the day long with songs and hymns; and all my wants will be supplied.

And as long as I'm content with my Jesus and don't begin to restlessly stir, no storm cloud will dare enter into my life.  And suddenly it dawns on me as a new day, my new life begins that this is the Place of which I once heard, where there is no darkness, no sadness, no strife.  And that wondrous beautiful Place is in my dear sweet Jesus' arms!

A Flower For My King

I shared this on facebook, but it was so beautiful and so touching that I decided to share on my blog as well.  The author of this poem lost his baby girl just before birth.  Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

A Flower for My King

As He walked amongst my flower garden
In the still of night
His eyes fell upon a blossom
Much to His delight

Though still not fully bloomed
Her time was very near
This precious little Violet
To everyone so dear

The Lord chose to pick this blossom
For His very own
To bring home to His kingdom
And display before His throne

At the coming of the morning
We arose to meet the day
Joyfully anticipating
The blooming of our babe

Completely unprepared were we
On that January eighth
For where once was joy and comfort
Was suddenly our grief

Nine long months we had been waiting
Dreaming of our first embrace
But when finally that time was come
Light was gone from her beautiful face

Beyond repair of true loves kiss
Hopes, dreams, wishes shattering
Reality there hit me
A flower for my King

Our garden isn’t empty
My other flowers remain
I now look upon my Rose and Jasmine
With a new appreciation

They daily bring us joy
Though not wholly complete
For they too longed for Ella Violet
And wish for her to meet

One day in eternity
Perhaps not too very long
I too shall go to glory
At beckoning of angel songs

Through pearly gates of splendor
Past mansions, down streets of gold
Again I’ll see my Ella Violet
Sitting beside my Jesus’ throne

I’ll cast myself before Him
At my Savior’s feet
I’ll pray that by His grace someday
My bouquet will be complete

~Jacob Close~
~10 January 2013~

This Thing is From Me

There are so many times in life when things happen that weren't in your plans or that weren't what you wanted.  And sometimes it's just really hard to accept that all these things come from God.  The other night for devotions, Dad pulled out the following tract and read it.  And it was as though God was speaking right to me, directly to my heart.  And I couldn't help the tears of shame, but also of joy that spilled over.  It was such an encouragement to me.  I hope you'll find some comfort in it as well.

Disappointments of Life

"This Thing is From Me"

..1 Kings 12:24

"The disappointments of life are in reality only the decrees of love. I have a message for thee today, My child.  I will whisper it softly in thine ear, in order that the stormclouds which appear may be gilt with glory, and that the thorns on which thou mayest have to walk be blunted.  The message is but short - a tiny sentence - but allow it to sink into the depths of thine heart, and be to thee as a cushion on which to rest thy weary head: 'This thing is from Me.'

Hast thou never thought that all which concerns  thee, concerns Me also?  He that toucheth thee toucheth the apple of Mine eye (Zech. 2:8).  Thou hast been precious in Mine eyes, that is why I take a special interest in thin upbringing.  When temptation assails thee, and the 'enemy comes in like a flood' I would wish thee to know that 'This thing is from Me.'  I am the God of circumstances.  Thou hast not been placed where thou art by chance, but because it is the place I have chosen for thee. Didst thou not ask to become humble?  Behold, I have placed thee in the very place where this lesson is to be learned.  It is by thy surroundings and thy companions that the working of My will is to come about.

Hast thou money difficulties?  Is it hard to keep within thine income?  'This thing is from Me.'  For I am He that possesseth all things.  I wish thee to draw everything from Me, and that thou depend entirely upon Me.  My riches are illimitable (Phil. 4:19).  Put My promise to the proof, so that it may not be said of thee, 'Yet in this thing ye did not believe the Lord thy God.'  

Art thou passing through a night of affliction?  'This thing is from Me.'  I am the Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief (Isa. 53:3).  I have left thee without human support that in turning to Me thou mightest obtain eternal consolation (2 Thess. 2:16, 17).

Has some friend disappointed thee?  One to whom thou hast opened thine heart?  'This thing is from me.'  I have allowed this disappointment that thou mightest learn that the best Friend is Jesus.  I long to be thy Confidant.

Has someone said false things of thee?  Leave that, and come closer to Me, under My wings, away from the place of wordy dispute, for I will bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday (Psa. 37;6).  Have thy plans been all upset?  Art thou crushed and weary?  'This thing is from Me.'  Hast thou made plans and then coming, asked Me to bless them?  I wish to make thy plans for thee.  I will take the responsibility, for it is too heavy for thee, thou couldst not perform it alone (Exo. 18:18).  Thou art but and instrument and not an agent.

Hast thou desired fervently to do some great work for Me?  Instead of that thou hast been laid on one side, on a bed of sickness and suffering.  'This thing is from Me.'  I was unable to attract thine attention while thou wast so active.  I wish to teach thee some of My deep lessons.  It is only those who have learned to wait patiently who can serve Me.  My greatest workers are sometimes those who are laid aside from active service in order that they may learn to wield the weapon of prayer.

Art thou suddenly called to occupy a difficult position full of responsibilities?  Go forward, counting on Me.  I am giving thee the position full of difficulties for the reason that Jehovah thy God will bless thee in all thy works and in all the business of thy hands (Deut. 15:18).  This day I place in thy hand a pot of holy oil.  Draw from it freely, My child, that all the circumstances arising along the pathway, each word that gives thee pain, each manifestation of thy feebleness, may be anointed with this oil.  Remember that interruptions are divine instructions.  The sting will go in the measure in which thou seest Me in all things.  Therefore set your heart unto all the works that I testify among you this day.  For it is your life (Deut. 32:46, 47)."

-Found in J.N. Darby's Bible

(Translated from the French)

Hast Thou Forgotten?

 A poem I wrote describing how I felt and the encouragement I needed and received on more than one occasion.

Hast thou forgotten, oh hast thou forgotten?

There is a promise for whom Christ died.

'Tis written in the Book, 'tis writ with iron pen.

"My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Why dost thou forget, oh why dost thou forget?

 The promise is for you, just look and see!

Do not despair for He hath said,

"I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

How dost thou forget, oh how dost thou forget?
Canst thou not hear the promise as it rings.
It's rung through ages past and assuredly lives yet,
"He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins."

Do not forget, oh do not forget!

The promises are from God and are for you.

"Seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness;

And all these things shall be added unto you."

Who is it, oh Who is it that thou forgettest?
Recall thy God and sing before Jesus' face, for
"Thou wast predestined to a child by Christ,
To the praise and glory of His grace."

Remember, oh you must remember!

Dwell upon the promises and thou shalt be no worse.

Among the glorious promises, this is one of the number,

"Whoso drinketh of My water shall not thirst."

Awake! Awake my soul and sing to thy Beloved!

Recall that on which thou once relied.

Awake thy slumbering eyes and get off thy bed,
For thou hast in thy agony far too long sighed.

Remember how great the fire that once burned in thee.
Remember the times when thou wast first saved and baptized.
Remember the days when thou wouldst boldly say,
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?"

Oh Remember! Remember!

Our Father and His Effective Will

Ok, I hope this comes out sensible enough.  I've had this thought in my head for the past week or two and thought I'd pass it along, because it's a very encouraging thought.  However, the thought's only been in my head and I haven't tried to put it into words until just a few days ago.  So it might come out a little muddled, so please, just bear with me.  The thought is: God accomplishes that which He would have us to do.

If God gives us something to do, leads us in one direction, calls us to a certain place, He's not just going to send us out there as sheep with no shepherd.  He's not the kind to tell us how to do something, give us a test on it, and then sit back and watch to see if we get it right.  No, He'll be walking with us the whole way, lending a hand whenever needed, and even carrying us through (probably carrying us most of the way).

Here are some verses that I ran across in the past few weeks that I thought could be applied to the subject.  2 Timothy 1:12, "...for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."  2 Thessalonians 3:3, "But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil."  Hebrews 6:15, "And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise."  Ephesians 6:11, "Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."  Isaiah 53:4-6, "Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all."

 The Lord will keep what we've committed.  Isn't that an amazing thought!  The Lord is faithful unto us even when we are not faithful unto him.  He gives us the promises.  He gives us battle array; He doesn't want us to go headlong into a fight without His protection.  And He has accomplished salvation, our salvation, He's done it for us!

Think on these things.  And whatever you're dealing with at this moment, how can this thought not encourage you?  God accomplishes that which He would have us to do.  Some of us may think that we are so weak, and why would He want us as His children.  Maybe we seem to be failing in everything we do.  But if you are chosen of God, He did it for His glory.  And when we feel especially low or cast down, all we must do is look to Him and He'll be right there, helping us along, casting away our cares.

Whatever Christians do for Christ, it is not them that do it, it is Christ within them accomplishing that which He would.  And this is what every Christian prays for: that others would not see us in our fleshly selves, but that they would see Christ shining bright through us, a light in this dark world.  And if the Lord Jesus Christ is doing a work in you, dear friend, don't fight it, but surrender yourself to Him and His will.  Because He not only accomplishes that which He would have us to do, but He accomplishes what He wills as well (which, actually, they're one and the same).

*Side Note*  I didn't name this post until the last minute and when I was previewing it, part of the title kind of stuck out at me.  The Father has a will.  Now, a lot of the time when you (or at least I) think of someone as having a will (in this sense), you're going to think something along the lines of stubborn-willed.  Think about it, do you ever hear someone say, "Oh, that child has such a sweet will about her"?  No (or at least, I don't), you would hear something like, "He's a stubborn-willed child."  So here I finally get to my thought: God is stubborn.  Plain and simple.  Only, He's righteously stubborn, whereas it is a sin for that little boy to be stubborn.  What He wills, He will have, and there's no changing that.  And that right there is a glorious thought!  Because He willed to have me!  And you, dear reader, if you are His!  He was more stubborn than me in bringing me in and was righteous in His stubbornness.  My stubbornness was just sin.  But Christ paid the debt for my sin, and stubbornly would not share me with the devil.  Praise God!  And you, too, dear reader, praise Him for His goodness and His stubbornness and His righteous will!
(So, yes I know that was a little off subject.  But it was a last minute thought and I thought I'd share it with you, anyway.)