Friday, August 23, 2013


It happened
for a reason,
either it's 
a blessing
or a lesson.

(I saw this on pinterest, but I didn't see a name to go with it.)

I used to look at things that way - a lesson vs. blessing view.  But why does it have to be one or the other?  I think that sometimes, most times, and maybe even all times the lesson is the blessing.  It took me a hard trial to go through to actually see this, though.  A trial that broke my heart.

I found Laura Story's song, Blessings, about two and a half years ago and loved it and thought it was so true, but I didn't realize just how true until about a month ago.

About two years ago I let my emotions run after something that it seemed evident that the Lord my God didn't want me to have.  However, I wanted this thing so badly that I invented just as many evidences in my own mind that this is really what the Lord had for me.

Two months ago this thing was utterly and completely taken away from me.  I was not happy with God.  How could He possibly just decide to take it away so abruptly when for two years He had allowed me to touch it, feel it, and grow attached to it?  I thought He was cruel and unloving and couldn't possibly care about my feelings.

Well, I was stubborn and stupid enough to throw my own strong will in the face of God and say I would get this thing back.  And I tried.  I did everything I could think of to get it back.  A month ago, I attended a sovereign grace youth camp as a counselor in the hopes that it might help me obtain what I was after.  However, it did the direct opposite.  It confirmed in my mind that I would not be getting what I desperately wanted.

From the first day at this camp the sermons struck me.  And they countered blow after blow after relentless blow.  They didn't let up.  God was telling me to let go of my sin and surrender to the sovereignty of God's will.  I was so convicted.  I was so tired of running from God and being in a place that was so far from Him that I wanted to give in, wanted to run to Him; but at the same time I didn't want to give up what I thought I had.

It wasn't until the week after camp that I became so sick of where I was that I asked the Lord to take the wheel of my life and do with me what He would.  I was clinging to the promise that all things work together for good to them that love God.  My heart was broken and I knew that Christ was the only one who could mend it.

Shortly thereafter I realized that this trial was a blessing as well.  Looking back I can definitely see that if God had allowed this thing that I was holding on to to go on, even just a little longer, I would have been hurt in a much worse way than I already had.  I can see it clear as day.  And even though I still count it as a trial, I also consider it a blessing that the Lord did it when He did.

I've finally come to the point where I honestly don't even want it anymore.  If it came walking up to my doorstep again, I'd turn around and walk the other way.  Now, that doesn't mean that I'm not sad because of the way it all went down.  No, I'm very sad.  But the Lord has given me peace about this whole thing, and He's granted me the faith and grace I need to trust that He has something better for me.  I may not know what it is, but I don't need to as long as He's in control.  And I know that He is in control and that He rules the world.

Isn't that a comforting thought?  If we and our emotions ruled the world, can you imagine where we'd be?  Can you imagine the destruction we would cause?  All because we are sinful creatures and wouldn't take everything to God in prayer.

There are too many times that we let our emotions get  in the way of serving our God.  Some of us who are emotional let those emotions cloud our thinking and we end up in the same position I was when I had invented plenty of reasons why the thing I wanted so bad was God's will for me to have.  I'm not saying that we shouldn't be emotional, just simply stating that we should learn to keep our feelings in check.  And we can do that with God's help.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is blessed be the Lord God who does all things well.  I thank Him for the trial He sent my  way and the blessing (actually blessings, which I haven't named in this post) He sent with it.

Christ knows best - in all circumstances.  Lord, help us to see this and to always submit joyfully to Thy perfect will.