Winter

Well, I'm not quite sure how appropriately this post is titled, considering winter will be coming to a close shortly for some of us in the U.S.  However, I did want a winter design before winter was up, so I decided to go ahead and redo my blog, even if it's only for a little while.  Also, the first year we moved to Colorado, winter was really only beginning in February and didn't end until close to the end of May.  We got a lot of snow that year.  Unfortunately it feels like we haven't had much of a winter this season, considering all the nice days and the very small amount of snow we've had. 

My favorite season is spring, so y'all might be wondering why I'm going on about having a short winter.  And while I do really love spring and even summer, I feel liked I've been gypped out of a good winter.  So, I guess we'll see what happens, but I'm rooting for another month or two of winter and for spring to come a little late this year.

What does everyone else want?  Early spring or longer winter?

2012! New Year's Resolutions

New Year's is typically the time people start making resolutions to stick to.  I guess it makes sense: you start with a new year, seems like the perfect time to start afresh!  This is the first year I'm making resolutions.  It just didn't seem that important before, but there are some things that could use some switching up in my life.  So, here goes:

• Read the Bible more.  It seems the more I read God's Word, the closer He draws me to Himself.  So, studying God's Word is at the top of my list.  I pray God helps me to cast all my earthly wants and passions aside so I can fully concentrate on glorifying my heavenly Father.

• Trust/rest in the Lord.  I want to be content in the Lord: what He has for me, where He puts me.  Because His will is His will; that's why I want to do it.

• Get a job.  I'd like to get a job aside from teaching piano lessons this year, and start saving my money instead of buying western wear with it.  (This one's gonna be hard!  Especially since I really want another pair of boots!)

• Act less like a teenager.  I'm turning 20 this year.  It seems so weird!  I'm going to be an old maid! JK.  But even though I don't turn 20 until half the year is up, I'm going to start trying to act how a young lady in the family of  Christ ought to act.

• Work out at the gym.  This is the first time I've become a member of a club.  The plan is to work out on a steady basis and stay in shape.

• Finish school.  Now the great thing about being home schooled is that Mom and Dad can throw stuff on you last minute sort of.  So yes, I've completed all of the legal requirements to have finished high school.  Now I'm just working on finishing up the requirements Dad has added.  I plan to be completely done with everything by the beginning of May.

So.  That's what I've got so far.  Hopefully I can stick to it all.  I'll probably have more resolutions throughout the year, but for now, I'll be working with these.

Happy New Year everybody!  May God bless you all with wisdom and understanding.

Why Art Thou Cast Down?

You know how sometimes you're kinda down, but don't know why?  And then you realize that you really do know why, but you just didn't want to admit the reason to yourself; and even now that you've realized the reason, you still don't want to admit it?  I've found myself in this mood a few times recently.

When there are a few things that are sort of upsetting the symmetry in our lives, we ought to praise God and trust Him to set things right in His time.  When the boat we're in is in some pretty wave-tossed water, and we're kinda just trying to hang on, praise God and trust Him to do what's right and good for us, His children.  When we look out across the horizon and we see so many other boats that are in perfectly calm water, praise God and trust Him to bring us into the peaceful waters in His time.  

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

~Psalm 42:11~

Let Go

I read a tract once that started out with a burning ship with the survivors quickly getting into life boats to escape certain death.  The last person to leave the ship is a boy, who, once he is hanging onto the ship with only his hands, must jump to the raft below.  But he is afraid.  The men in the life boat below him are trying to persuade him that he must jump, or he will perish with the ship.  To this the boy replies, "I can't let go!  I can't let go!"  After a minute of the mens' urging, the lad takes a leap of faith and uncoils his fingers from around the ship's deck rail.  He falls into the safety of the life boat and is rowed away from the sinking ship.

Never say never, right?  Well, my dad's thing is: never say can't.  To say you can't do something is like giving up on it.  I guess that's why my dad doesn't like us kids to say it.  He doesn't like us to give up on something, especially if we really don't know if we can or can't do it.  A lot of the time if we hear something that at first glance seems impossible, we'll just write it off and say we can't do it, without another thought to it.  When I'm going through trials and they seem to just keep coming and never stop, a lot of the time I feel like screaming that I can't do it anymore.  But if we take a second look at the impossible, we may find that there's a way to actually accomplish that whatever-it-is.  It may be hard.  It may be a very small way, but if we persevere we just might be able to take the contraction away from that forbidden word.

I think that as Christians, we all come across some burning ships that we don't want or are afraid to let go of.  What will happen if I let go?  Will I miss the life boat and sink in the dark water?  Will I really perish if I hold on?  I don't know about my brothers and sisters in Christ, but I know I've asked myself those questions before.  It's almost like I feel that since I have a hold, however small it may be, if I stay, maybe things will get better.  And I fail to remember the fact that the ship is burning, and won't stay above the water much longer.

Sometimes we just have to let go of things that we want.  No, I take that back.  We have to let go of all things that we want; not just sometimes, but all times.  As Christians it's our duty to give up our own will to the Father, and seek only that His will is done.  Now, it just may be the Lord's will to give us some things back, but how do we really know, unless we first give everything to Christ?

(I'm talking to myself, here.  Please don't feel like I'm trying to judge anybody.  These are just some things that I am dealing with personally.  And I write down my thoughts with hopes that if there is someone else going through similar times, perhaps (and I pray) I may be an encouragement to them.)

We have to take that leap of faith.  Every day.  Satan tries over and over to trip up the children of God.  And he may succeed sometimes, and we may go through tough trials; but we can rejoice in the fact that our Lord and Savior will not let us go, if we are truly His.  And we have only to confess our sins and ask forgiveness.  Jesus never fails.  He'll never pass away.  He is forever.  He loves His children and wants to bear their burdens for them.  So, let Him.

 "When Satan tempts you to doubt whether you will be kept from falling, you should tell Satan that you cannot despair when you look at the cross." ~ J.C. Ryle

And, yes, I realize that the past few posts have all had the same message in them: lay your all on the altar and trust the God of all with your entire life.  But can I say it too many times?  I know that I can't tell it enough to my own self.  Give everything up to Christ.  Trust Him with your whole life.  Let go of those burning ships.

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. ~Deuteronomy 31:6

Give Thanks

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

~Romans 8:28~

Wow!  What a thought!  All things?  Really?  Even the what-we-call "bad things"?  The answer, as much as I sometimes really do not want to admit it, is yes; even the bad things.  You hear people sometimes say, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  Well, the answer to that one is simply, they don't.  The reason?  There are no good people.  There is only one good, that is, Christ.  We all sin, and, even if there was a person who had committed but one sin in his entire life, what do you think?  The smallest of sins is enough to send us to hell for eternity.  But, praise God, Christ was, is the propitiation for our sins.  All those who call upon His name are redeemed by His blood.  Anyway, I got a little off track, there.

If all things work together for the good of them that love God, can anyone tell me what we shouldn't be thankful for in our lives?  Anything at all?  Yes, that means, I should be thankful that 3 years ago our family was uprooted from our home where we had lived with our friends and family for 15 years, and that we had to move to Colorado where we don't even really know anybody, and can't find a church that preaches the sovereignty of God, even after 3 years.  I should be thankful when the car in front of me is going extremely slow, like 15 miles under the speed limit.  I should be thankful we didn't get to go to that Bible conference for the past 3 years.  I should be thankful I had to quit Tae Kwon Do two years before the rest of the family because of a knee injury that I deemed stupid.  I should be thankful for that knee injury that still bothers me, too.

Well, I guess whoever reads this is going to see that it's pretty hard for me to be thankful in all things.  And I'm sure there are others with "bad days" that have been worse than mine.  But that doesn't change the fact.  The fact that all things, all things, work together for good.  And that we should be thankful in all the circumstances, good, and, especially, bad (and I say that only because it is naturally harder to be thankful for those things that we say are bad).

There is a purpose to everything God does.  If you have read The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, you'll know who I mean when I say that Betsie ten Boom, when she and her sister, Corrie, were taken to a new prison camp in the middle WWII, thanked God for the fleas that infested the barracks where they were to sleep.  Corrie didn't understand how her sister could thank God for those pesky little creatures.  Shortly after, the ladies realized the reason the German guards wouldn't come into that building.  Why?  Because thy didn't want to risk the fleas.

God is good.  God is great.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.  And, just maybe, it's a blessing that God put my family, me, right where I am today.  In Colorado.  Away from everyone I know and care about.  I may not know why.  But I certainly know that God knows why.  He has a reason for everything.  And I know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.

May God help me to accept these things in my life, cheerfully, as of the Lord.  And may He help me to be thankful for them.  And may the name of the Lord Jesus Christ be praised, glorified, and honored throughout the earth!

Pray!

In March of 2010, (and I know I've said before that it was 2009 when I was saved; please excuse the mistake, it was 2010), the month the Savior came into my heart, I prayed - a lot.  I prayed that Christ would use my life to glorify His name.  I kept short accounts with God; whatever happened or whatever I did wrong I was so convicted of immediately after that I would tell the Lord everything right away and ask His forgiveness.  Everything was most wonderful for a time.  It seemed as though nothing could or would go wrong.  But it just seems that when a person is saved, the devil tries harder and more frequently to attack that person, and it seems as though he'll never let up.

The first thing that seemed to put a bridge (which I could have crossed if I wanted to) between me and my God was so small a deal that I'm completely ashamed to bring it to remembrance.  There have come times in my life when I would get mad, or angry, or upset with some silly little nothing and I wouldn't go to the Savior right away.  I wanted to be angry.  I wanted to have my revenge in my mind for whatever stupid trifling thing that dared upset me.  I actually wanted to be mad for a while.  And this is what the devil used to keep me on my own side of that bridge for a time.

As soon as I let my guard down, Satan struck.  And it wasn't a simple little slap.  It was quite a blow.  As I faced trial after trial, I became more and more sick with everything.  And the stupidest part played by me was being too stubborn to ask my Savior to help me overcome the evil.  And because I didn't, I sank into a dark pit of depression all because I didn't carry everything to God in prayer.

My next mistake was being of the mind-set that since I hadn't talked to the Lord in quite a while, that I wasn't worthy to come before His presence.  This is another trick the devil uses to keep us from the Forgiver of sins.  I had come to the point where I was so weary with all my sin that I wanted to go to Jesus, wanted to confess everything, but I didn't.  What would He think?  How would He respond to such a poor wretch as me who had purposely turned my head away from His face so as not to see His pleading look beckoning me, "Come...and I will give you rest."?

O what peace we often forfeit, 

O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer!

I eventually realized that no matter what, I had to get to the Savior.  No matter what lay in my path, no matter what befell me on the way, I knew I had to pray and pray and pray and not give up until I had gotten through all of Satan's stumbling blocks and was safe in the arms of my Jesus Christ!  I didn't care anymore!  I had to get this infinitely deep ache that was rotting away my soul removed!  And I knew that only Christ could heal my broken spirit.  If it took years for the Lord to turn His head in pity to look upon me, then it was going to take years.  I wouldn't, couldn't give up.

But it didn't take years, or months, or even weeks.  I poured out my soul to the God of heaven and immediately He heard my cries and brought me up out of the miry clay.  I wept.  I was so broken and ashamed that I had denied my Savior for so long and that it only took me asking once for forgiveness and it was granted.

The first part of that verse written above goes like this:

What a Friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer!

But so many times I was too stubborn to trust in Jesus.  I had to do it all on my own.  I so wish I could erase those times, but sadly, it can't be done.  What I can do is pray.  Pray for strength.  Pray for faith.  Pray that the Lord is always near.

If I had only asked God to deliver me of what I was feeling when that anger first crept into my heart, it would have gone much  better for me.  I wouldn't have become so cast down and depressed, which is what will always happen as a result of sin.  Oh, if only I had confessed my sin to Christ the moment I felt it rising, I would not have gone through so much trouble.

But as Christians, there are marvelous, wonderful, beautiful times we spend with the Savior.  What a blessing it is while in prayer to feel as though Jesus is right beside us listening to and caring about what we have to say.  How sweet it is to fall asleep at night doing nothing else than communing with the Father, and then waking to the thought, How Deep the Father's Love for Us!

I have heard of some people saying that the song Sweet Hour of Prayer is not realistic.  They say, "Who actually prays for an hour?"  Well, I would venture to ask that person if they truly believed they were a Christian if they had not spent an hour at one time in prayer to the Lord.  Communion with our Lord and God must be the sweetest thing that we can obtain on this earth.  How can we not but spend an hour, or two, or three, or all night in prayer to Jesus the Christ, the Savior of our souls?

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, well, mainly, pray.  But if you ever find yourself in the position I was in and have it in your head to turn your eyes away from Jesus, don't!  Oh, friend, once you go down that road, it becomes increasingly harder to walk back up to the right path again.  The very moment you find yourself in a spiritual battle, take it to the Lord in prayer!  He will all our sorrows share.

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."  ~Matthew26:41

Patience

Definition of the word "patience": the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Some people may automatically think that they have patience, perhaps more than the next person (I know I thought this about myself for a long time).  But when we really stop and actually think about it, what a big meaning the word "patience" has.

I honestly never thought that I would go through a trial where it seemed to be that the main lesson of the whole thing was to gain patience.  I would never have expected it, but there it was, knocking on my door.  And by answering that knock, I let that tribulation get a strong hold on my self, my heart, and most definitely on my mind.  But we are to "glory in tribulations", are we not?

Going through this trial I recognize that patience is something I am going to need dearly.  I know I'll need a lot of it for a long time.  And I recognize also that there is only one way I can obtain it: through continuous prayer.

I suppose I'm naturally a stubborn girl, (and I also suppose that's not really going to shock anybody).  Patience isn't my strong point.  The Bible says "...tribulation worketh patience..."  I can only pray that during this trial period, my stubborn nature won't rebel and toss what little patience I have or gain out the window.

But you know what?  God is Lord, and He is good in all things.  In all things.  What he does for His own children really is what is best for them, whether they know it or not, whether they accept it or not, whether they're willing to wait and be patient for an answer or not.  And the only thing we, as children, can do about it is pray for the right attitude.

I actually know some people who absolutely will not pray for patience because they know that with patience comes tribulations.   This baffles me greatly.  I understand the not wanting tribulation part, but the end result is a fruit of the spirit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering [patience], gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance..."  I suppose I know what I'm asking for when I pray for patience, but the end result is a blessed sweetness that enables us more fully to trust in the God of our salvation.

God give me the faith to say, Thy will be done.  As I said in an earlier post, we, as man, are sinful even in our righteousnesses; so we ought only to seek the will of the Father, and not what our own wretched selves want, even if we want it really bad.  May God grant me the patience I absolutely know I will need to emerge from this trial a victor.

"By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;  And patience, experience; and experience, hope..."  -Romans 5:2-4

Blessed be God the Father, Who giveth me trials and tribulations to endure.

Pray for patience.  It's the only way we'll ever get it.