Life's Not Fair...Or Is It?

Somebody once told me that when they think something or someone isn't fair, they say just that: it's not fair.  Then she told me that she says to herself, "Life's not fair, and you can't expect it to be, so shut up. They're not perfect and I can't expect them to be. I'm not perfect, or else I wouldn't be so mad right now."  I thought, wow, I wish I thought that when I thought something was unfair.  It would probably calm me down and make me less unhappy.  Sadly, when I get mad about something, I don't really want to calm down right away.  I want to be mad.  So, normally, when something isn't fair, I usually repeat it over and over in my head, making myself more and more upset.

But the last time that I thought something wasn't fair and I tried saying to myself that I can't expect everything to be fair, I thought about the sovereignty of God.  If God is sovereign, and something comes up that we don't like or think is unfair, what does that say about the way God plans things?

Is God Sovereign?  Yes.  Does He do things we don't like?  Yes.  Does He always have a plan or a reason why He does all things?  Yes.  God does what He does for the good of His own children.  Like it or not, He knows better than we do.  So when "life's not fair," "turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Look full into His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."  Don't dwell on your unhappiness - you'll only become angrier.

All things are ordained of God; thus, all things are fair.  This is something I need to remind myself of daily.  When things don't seem to be fair, stop and think that maybe God is sparing you from going through trials, or teaching you a much needed lesson, or saving you from heartache, or preserving your life from a terrible accident, or a number of other things.  When things don't go your way, stop and thank God that things are going His way and that His way is much better than your own.

So, the only thing I would omit from the above quote is the first sentence that says that life isn't fair.  We can still tell ourselves that we're not perfect and nobody else is, save God.  The more we humble ourselves and bring ourselves low to the feet of Jesus, the more He will raise us up and bless us and bless His holy name through us.  And that must be the greatest blessing - for Christ to be glorified through us.

Bless God for the "unfairness" we go through, because He has all things under control and He is always watching us.  He will not allow us to be tried beyond that which we are able.  He will give us the strength we need to make it through anything and everything He puts along our path.

Adjust Your Focus

When life gets blurry

Adjust your focus

Yes, something else I found on Pinterest.  I saw it and it just stuck out at me.  Maybe you can't see real far ahead.  You may not know what the outcome of something will be.  Perhaps you're afraid to take a leap of faith because you did once before, it turned out bad, and you don't want the same result to happen this time.

We seem to have this tendency to look way ahead into the future and try to predict how this little act, or deed, or whatever it is - how this thing will affect that other little thing that we'll come across years down the road.  Sometimes this is a good thing.  Sometimes not.

We don't always have to think real hard about something.  We don't always have to labor over every little thing.  If we do this all the time, we're going to stress out (and believe me, that's not fun).  You won't always know how something will turn out.  You won't always even have an idea of how something will turn out.  So when things turn that blurry, adjust your focus.  Concentrate on the here and now.  Leave the there and then to God.  He will take care of everything in the way that He chooses.  And ultimately, as God is sovereign, whatever we choose to do now will bring about what God wills in the future.

So if Christ is pointing you towards something right here and now, then take that leap of faith.  Don't be afraid, for it is God that goes with you.  Trust Him to take your hand and lead you down the road He has made for you.  Trust Him, even when you can't see past the curve in the road up ahead.  Adjust your focus: don't worry about where the road leads, but keep your eyes on Christ.  Look to Him for all your needs.  You can try to tackle those needs yourself, but you won't get very far.

Adjust your focus so that Christ is front and center, first and foremost.  Everything else will line up behind Him.

As a good friend of mine likes to say, "I'll blow that bridge when I come to it."  I pointed out to him once that he had better cross the bridge before he blows it.  Anyway, he's got a good point.  Most of the bridges we cross, or the little steps we take, we don't need to re-cross back to the other side again.  We've gained all that ground and we certainly don't want to lose it.  My point, I guess is what I've already said, but I liked this analogy.  Keep your focus on Christ.  Follow Him through and in everything.  And once He leads you across a bridge, don't go back to the other side.  Blow that bridge to be sure you won't.  But you definitely want to make sure you've crossed it first. ;)

Prayer

What is prayer?  Why do we hear that it's such a good thing to have?  When we tell a fellow brother or sister in Christ our troubles, why do they always tell us to pray about it?  What about prayer is so important?  And then, why is it that so often we don't feel the want or even the need to pray?

Let me answer these questions one at a time.  Prayer is a sword.  Prayer is a shield.  Prayer is a comfort.  Prayer is an escape.  Prayer is all these things.  But above all these, prayer is the entrance through which we find the throne of grace.

The more one prays in sincerity to the Father, the stronger that individual grows in their faith in the Lord Jesus.  The stronger in faith this person becomes, the more able he is to encourage his brother in Christ to keep running the race.  And the more this person lifts up his head to Christ, the more the Lord will bless him with a knowledge of Himself.

When trials come our way (as is sure to happen), and when you tell your best friend what you are going through, that friend would be remiss if they didn't tell you that the best place to take those troubles is to the Lord of grace.  (I'm not saying that you shouldn't tell your best friend when you're going through struggles.  Only simply saying that Christ should be approached with such trials, as well.)  In most cases, your friend will only be able to sympathize with you.  The Lord Jesus is the only one who can truly help you completely through the trials of life.

The importance of prayer is not to be taken lightly.  Prayer is your direct access to the Father of heaven.  Prayer can move the heart of God.  When you're stressed or overwhelmed, it is a comfort to be able to approach the Father about these things, knowing that He won't turn you away.  When the Christian forsakes prayer at any time, they can not be truly happy, for that communion with the Father is what makes them thrive.

All too often, we do leave off of praying.  We do this because we either don't want to or don't feel the need to.  If we don't want to, we've let something else catch hold of our attention, and shamefully, we put it before our God, thus making it an idol.  If we don't feel the need, it's because the devil has come in to the picture and has told us that we are happy where we are right now, so what possible need could there be for prayer?  Let me tell you something.  There is always need for prayer.  In dark days and in days filled with sunshine, there is no true happiness or joy if Christ the Lord is not a part of it.

Another reason we may not want to pray is because we have been praying. Earnestly praying.  And no matter how many times we seek the Father's face, we feel not the slightest bit of His presence.  We don't hear any answers.  And so we give up.  Please don't give up!  I can't stress this enough.  I've been in that situation and believe me when I say that it is much worse than crying out to God night after night with no answer.  Thy prayer will be answered; if not now, then later.  Be patient and wait, as difficult as that may be.  It's likely the Lord wants to teach you a specific lesson while you wait.  But be certain, He will answer thy pleas.  Psalm 102:17 says, "He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their prayer."  So take comfort in this and wait patiently on the Lord.

The following is something else I found on Pinterest.  It actually gave me the idea for this post.  The Christian must pray.  It's not a rule, it's a desire, even if that desire wanes sometimes.  It is always rekindled by the need to be near Christ the Savior.

"I pray because I can't help myself.

I pray because I'm helpless.

I pray because the need flows out of me all the time -

waking and sleeping.

It does not change God -

it changes me."

~C. S. Lewis~

The blessing is there.  Christ offers it freely.  It's ours for the taking.  If we will but pray to our heavenly Father, we can claim it as our own.  And we will rest content, knowing that God is in control of any and every circumstance.  So, have faith.  Have faith to believe in Jesus Christ and don't leave off thy prayers.

Near to Christ

Oh how I long for Christ to be near;

Oh how I long for blessed sweet peace;

Oh how I long for His coming to be here;
And for the day when mortal life shall cease.

I long, in midst of my trials, for Gilead's balm;
I long for the moment when Jesus shall say,
With His voice, full of love, and sweet calm,
"It is I, do not be not afraid"

Then in a moment as light sheds anew,
I see Christ is never away from His sheep;
I see and I wonder that this must be true,
How for His own glory He always will keep.

I long to be with Him and see His dear face;
Where when final breath greets, I know I'll be sent;
Up in His mansion, in the heavenly place;
Where no evil can taint and no sin can tempt.

But for right now He bids me stay.
So on this earth I make my home,
And try to bring glory to Jesus' dear name,
Till on this earth no longer I'll roam.

Jesus Christ is All in All to Me

Jesus Christ is all in all to me.

He's my Redeemer, Friend, and Comforter.

Faithful and true will He always be.

Full of strength and honor, glory and power.

He holds my life in His very hands.

At any time He may call me home.

To where I shall be far above the clouds,

And on this earth I shall no longer roam.

But while I'm here He grants my ev'ry need.

I'll never be in want while He's the Saviour.

And He will ne'er yield His crown for He's decreed

That He will be for ever and ever.

When I am afraid He calms my fears.

When in doubt He tells me He's the answer.

When my tears spill o'er He proves He cares.

When I'm far away He's always near.

Then oh my soul, why dost thou despair,

When Christ is all in all to thee?

Bring at once thy load for Him to bear.

There's no other one to hear thy plea.

Don't lose thy God in the business of this world.

Don't let the stress o'ercome thee like a wave.

Pray to thy God, Who's giv'n thee a sword.

He surely is thy God and will save.

Take the sword He's giv'n and wield it well;
It will be thy strength when thou hast none.
Thou hast the tools you need to dispel
Any gloom upon which thou hast come.

He tells me my cares on Him to roll;
That He'll bestow upon me joy and peace.
Tho I've sinned, He forgives in full,
And for me His love does never decrease.

Jesus Christ is all in all to me.
There is no greater source of power.
He's everything I want ever like to be.
He is the strongest and mightiest of towers.

So let me run to Jesus Christ,
And live my life in His loving arms.
His words are sweeter than honey to my taste.
May He always live and reign in my heart.

When the Road is Hardest - Trust

Why is it easiest to trust in God when we are content and happy with the situation dealt to us?  Why is it, when we receive encouragement in our times of joy, that as soon as dark clouds come our way and trials overtake us that we don’t seem to remember what God was showing us before?  This has happened to me, recently.  I read a book about a woman and the trials she went through and how she finally realized that all she needed was Christ, and it was such an encouragement to me.  But as soon as I was faced with something that I deemed a similar trial, I completely forgot about that book, the strength I had pulled from it, and the comfort I had received from it. 

Why do we do this?  Are we simply programmed that way - to be nothing but happy in good times and to see no ray of joy in our sad times?  No, this, my friend, is the sinfulness of mankind.  When we fall into diverse trials, we ought rather to glory, knowing that the trying of our faith worketh patience.  How can we do this?  It does seem as though it’s a nearly impossible task. 

Christ will not leave us in our hardest and darkest hour.  No, He is always within earshot, waiting for us to call on Him.  Are we such fair-weather friends to Him that we only are grateful for Him when we’re having a good day?  Dear friend, wake up!  Have you never sung the song I Need Thee Every Hour?  Have you never listened to the words?  How true it is!  We need Him in stormy weather just as much as we do in the sunshine.  We need Him in joy, and we need Him in pain.  He is the only one who can make our joy complete, who can comfort us to the fullest extent.

Our God will not leave us armourless.  He will prepare us for our trials ahead.  And if He doesn’t prepare us, we still have our battling weapons in prayer and God’s Word.  If we do not utilize these tools, how sad will be our defeat until we see, understand, and know that we must not give up the fight!  We must keep pressing on, and we must win that crown for Christ!  We were put on this earth to bring glory and honor to the Father’s name, to be lights in a dark world, to point the way to Christ.  How can we, when trials come our way, turn our backs on Him in obstinance?

But that’s just what we do, that’s just what I did.  I had even been prepared for this trial.  God had so graciously given this book to me to read and to relate to.  But when it came down to the final test, there was no thought of that book in my mind, or the lessons that were taught from it.  It’s like I had learned my school-work and when the test day came, I drew a complete and total blank.

In our times of trial, that's when we ought more than ever to look to Christ, to trust that He has put us in the very place He wants us to be.  The easiest thing to do is to turn away and say that God doesn't care, that it doesn't mean anything to Him that we are going through a hard time.  How could He possibly when He's the one Who put us there?  Oh friend, please realize that this is exactly what the devil wants us to think.  Yes, it is true that God puts us where we are and end up, but can't you see that He does it for our own good?  If not at the beginning of the trial, surely when you come through to the other side, you can see at least a part of God's purpose.  If only we would remember that every trial has a purpose, that all things work together for good to them that love God, perhaps we would have a better attitude about these things.  But all too often, we forget, and we run in to that thought that God really doesn't care.

I read the following excerpt from Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional this morning and thought that it would go well with this post:

"When a tear is wept by thee, think not that God doth not behold; for, 'Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him.'  Thy sigh is able to move the heart of Jehovah; thy whisper can incline His ear unto thee; thy prayer can stay His hand; thy faith can move His arm.  Think not that God sits on high taking no account of thee.  Remember that however poor and needy thou art, yet the Lord thinketh upon thee.  For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect towards Him."

So, don't stay in your dismal state, which is the mistake I made.  Refresh yourself in Christ, your Redeemer.  For, He certainly does care and wants you to put all of your trust in Him so He can comfort you in the richest possible way.

Blessings

It happened

for a reason,

either it's 

a blessing

or a lesson.

(I saw this on pinterest, but I didn't see a name to go with it.)

I used to look at things that way - a lesson vs. blessing view.  But why does it have to be one or the other?  I think that sometimes, most times, and maybe even all times the lesson is the blessing.  It took me a hard trial to go through to actually see this, though.  A trial that broke my heart.

I found Laura Story's song, Blessings, about two and a half years ago and loved it and thought it was so true, but I didn't realize just how true until about a month ago.

About two years ago I let my emotions run after something that it seemed evident that the Lord my God didn't want me to have.  However, I wanted this thing so badly that I invented just as many evidences in my own mind that this is really what the Lord had for me.

Two months ago this thing was utterly and completely taken away from me.  I was not happy with God.  How could He possibly just decide to take it away so abruptly when for two years He had allowed me to touch it, feel it, and grow attached to it?  I thought He was cruel and unloving and couldn't possibly care about my feelings.

Well, I was stubborn and stupid enough to throw my own strong will in the face of God and say I would get this thing back.  And I tried.  I did everything I could think of to get it back.  A month ago, I attended a sovereign grace youth camp as a counselor in the hopes that it might help me obtain what I was after.  However, it did the direct opposite.  It confirmed in my mind that I would not be getting what I desperately wanted.

From the first day at this camp the sermons struck me.  And they countered blow after blow after relentless blow.  They didn't let up.  God was telling me to let go of my sin and surrender to the sovereignty of God's will.  I was so convicted.  I was so tired of running from God and being in a place that was so far from Him that I wanted to give in, wanted to run to Him; but at the same time I didn't want to give up what I thought I had.

It wasn't until the week after camp that I became so sick of where I was that I asked the Lord to take the wheel of my life and do with me what He would.  I was clinging to the promise that all things work together for good to them that love God.  My heart was broken and I knew that Christ was the only one who could mend it.

Shortly thereafter I realized that this trial was a blessing as well.  Looking back I can definitely see that if God had allowed this thing that I was holding on to to go on, even just a little longer, I would have been hurt in a much worse way than I already had.  I can see it clear as day.  And even though I still count it as a trial, I also consider it a blessing that the Lord did it when He did.

I've finally come to the point where I honestly don't even want it anymore.  If it came walking up to my doorstep again, I'd turn around and walk the other way.  Now, that doesn't mean that I'm not sad because of the way it all went down.  No, I'm very sad.  But the Lord has given me peace about this whole thing, and He's granted me the faith and grace I need to trust that He has something better for me.  I may not know what it is, but I don't need to as long as He's in control.  And I know that He is in control and that He rules the world.

Isn't that a comforting thought?  If we and our emotions ruled the world, can you imagine where we'd be?  Can you imagine the destruction we would cause?  All because we are sinful creatures and wouldn't take everything to God in prayer.

There are too many times that we let our emotions get  in the way of serving our God.  Some of us who are emotional let those emotions cloud our thinking and we end up in the same position I was when I had invented plenty of reasons why the thing I wanted so bad was God's will for me to have.  I'm not saying that we shouldn't be emotional, just simply stating that we should learn to keep our feelings in check.  And we can do that with God's help.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is blessed be the Lord God who does all things well.  I thank Him for the trial He sent my  way and the blessing (actually blessings, which I haven't named in this post) He sent with it.

Christ knows best - in all circumstances.  Lord, help us to see this and to always submit joyfully to Thy perfect will.

Relying on God

In my last post I mentioned how a lot of things were crowding in on me.  In just the past month, a lot of things have come up and it just seemed as if everything was dumped on me at once.  I was so confused about everything at that time that I almost didn't know what was real.  It's weird, but true.  And the load was so heavy that I almost forgot to approach the Lord with it.  But I did, and He started helping me with things one by one.

But during that time I couldn't figure out why everything happened at once, just out of the blue.  There was nothing I could lay my finger on and say, That's it, that's the reason this is all raining down on me.  Until one night I was writing in my journal (sometimes, writing things out, telling myself exactly what I think, really helps in identifying the problem) and it just came out; and I stared at what I'd written on the page thinking, Oh, that's why.  It's funny how things come out in writing that can't be said with words.

I think the reason (if it's not the whole reason, it's part of the reason) everything came on me at once was so that I would be left with nothing.  Nothing I could firmly hold onto or point to and say, This.  This is what will happen.  Or, That is what I'm counting on.  Or, I'm sure of this.  

God took everything that I knew, was counting on, and was sure of away from me.  The only thing I had left was Himself.  And I think that right there is the point.  I was feeling pretty good, pretty confident, very sure of myself until everything seemed to crumble.  Then I felt so weak because I had nothing I could hold on to - it all lay in a million pieces at my feet. 

Next thing I knew, God directed my attention towards Him.  It took me a little while to come to the correct conclusion, though.  Knowing my Lord was right there beside me was very comforting, but I still didn't know which way my life was going.  I felt as though I had no control over my life, that I wasn't the one holding the steering wheel.  And that's what made me feel so weak, I think. 

I finally realized I didn't lose everything, because I had everything in Christ.  I know the Lord will do what He wills; and I know I can count on Him always; and I know I can forever be sure of Him.  Everything on this earth will pass away and die, but Christ is forever.  If Christ is the only thing I have, He's the only thing I need.

Shortly after that, I remembered the verse "...my strength is made perfect in weakness..."   And it just encouraged me so much.

So I see that I am strong when Christ is all there is.  Because nothing else is certain.  But Christ is a sure foundation, a safe haven, a shelter in the time of storm.  Nothing can knock me down or even get close enough to try when I lean on this Rock.

I'm learning to rely on God, and God alone.  It's so much more of a  better place than thinking I'm relying on something that's firm but really isn't.  There's a noticeable difference.  And there's a sweet peace that comes with leaving your life in God's hands and not trying to take control yourself. 

We must keep pressing on.  No matter how weak we feel, we must not give in to selfish feelings.  It is so much the better for us to leave our lives in God's hands.  Fear not.  He will take care of us.

A Walk of a Lifetime

I went for a walk around the lake the other day that's about 11/2 miles from our house.  I needed some time alone with the Lord.  Lately a lot of things have seemed to be crowding in around me, leaving me almost no room to breathe, and I wanted to lay everything at His feet and give it all to Him without any interruption.  It was a beautiful day: nice, warm, and sunshiny.  But a storm was starting to roll in; the wind started blowing, clouds began covering the mountains, and little waves were forming on the lake.  It still made for a beautiful day; I love storms, and the storm was only coming in slowly.

There's a sidewalk surrounding the lake where most people walk, and in occasional spots you'll see people right up to, or even in the lake, fishing or wading or just hanging out.  I normally just walk around the lake on the walkway provided, but this time about 3/4 of the way around I decided to go and sit on the rocks by the water for a while, just thinking and praying.

I was watching the water (water is very beautiful in the way it flows) and how it moved for several minutes when my attention was suddenly fixated on one of the bigger waves (even though they were all small).  I watched it as it came rolling towards the shore and me.  I watched as it got a little bigger and the water underneath it seemed to push it even a little higher.  Then I saw it break on the rocks sticking up out of the water and all of a sudden fall almost flat and get thinner and thinner as it spread as far as it possibly could onto the shore.

And I thought how similar are the trials we go through.  When we're going through them, they just seem to get bigger and bigger.  But if we cling to our Rock, the Most High God, He will carry us through, the trials will break around Him and get smaller and smaller as we trust in Him.

And then I noticed the birds.  There were lots of birds flying over the lake, riding the wind, dipping down to catch bugs that were floating on the water.  They would fly right into the wind, or hover in one place as the wind came towards them.  Not once did I see a single bird get blown backwards because of the force of the wind.  And they weren't afraid to dive down towards the upset water.

And this reminded me that should the Lord our God bring us through trials - to winds that rage against our soul, waves that roar and rise higher and higher threatening to overwhelm us - it is our duty to obey.  It is our joy to walk through such a storm, knowing that our Lord and Saviour will not let us go.  And He'll be right there beside us.  All we must do is call upon His name.

In one spot around the lake, the path turns and you can't see what's up ahead.  I thought of Much Afraid (from the book Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard - a very good read by the way) and the journey she took to the High Places.  In a certain place in the book, just when it seemed that the road she was on was leading back to the High Places, it took a turn and led her into an even lower valley.  The Shepherd did this to teach her a specific lesson.

Our lives are journeys.  And our lives do not belong to ourselves.  God created us and He creates a different path for each individual person.  And if we step off our designated road and choose to go our own way, He chastens us an brings us back (just like He did with Christian in Pilgrim's Progress).  Sometimes we can't see what's up ahead.  Sometimes the waves will toss to and fro about us.  Sometimes the wind will be so strong we'll feel that we can't push against it.  In times like these we have only to call out the Saviour's name and He's there, comforting us and holding our hand and walking with us.

We live day by day, not year to year.  Every morning we must rise and seek the Father's face.  We must intreat Him to stay by our side and give us grace, strength, courage, and faith to face each trial that comes our way.  If we miss one morning, or get tired and not pray whole-heartedly, the things of that day will probably not go well for us.  But as long as we trust in Him and desire Him to be Lord over our lives, He will give us strength for each passing day.

While I was walking around the lake I was listening to hymns, and this is one that stuck out at me:

In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This cornerstone,this solid ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.

My comforter, my all in all,

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone.  Heights of love.  Depths of peace.  He is my God and He gives me these things when I've done nothing for them.

Praise the Lord, He knows all things!  He knows when to send trials and lessons.  He knows when to send peace.  And I know I am His and He is mine, and He will never let me go.

I snapped a picture the day I walked around the lake.

 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? 
and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
~Matthew 10:29-31~

The Most Wonderful Place

I once heard that there was a Place, a Place where all one's dreams come true.  A Place where you need not fear the slightest harm.  A Place where everyone wears a happy face.  A Place where chores are not a bear to do.  A Place where it does neither rain nor storm.

So I set out to find this Place.  I asked my friends if they knew where it was.  Most laughed and said it was a made-up land, a grand deception lined with lace.  But I believed as many a soul does that the Place was somewhere I could firmly stand.

I was desperate to find this Place.  I began asking everyone I came across, but no one knew what I was really talking about.  One man said it was his pretty wife's face.  Another, for what I was asking, was at a total loss. And one even looked at me in doubt.

But of this Place I was sure.  I would travel the world and find it on my own,  and prove to all the people that I was not mad.  I stood on Europe's shores, but it was not there.  I looked in Asia, but that seemed a dead-end zone.  It seemed that every happy place there was was also sad.

I began to give up hope on this Place.  Perhaps I was a little crazy for believing it real.  I was living with no purpose anymore until a man came into view.  He was so old he looked a bit of a space-case.  But when he looked at me, his eyes pulled me in like a reel.  He said nothing, only turned around and pointed into the blue.

I looked where he was pointing, but saw nothing there.  He sensed that I didn't see and again drew me back with his eyes.  Then he points again to the same Place.  The sun is in my eyes so there is a glare.  He knows I can't see it and in sadness he sighs.  This time he takes my hand and all selfish thoughts erase.

A look in his eyes and he bids me walk with him.  I can't pull away, don't even want to.  My eyes are fixed on his, but he looks straight ahead.  It's as if he is resolved and nothing will stop him.  He's come for a reason and his resolve will come through.  He'll carry it out no matter if it takes to the moment before I'm dead.

He looks at me once, but I can't read his expression.  Is it just plain gentleness? Or is it joy? Perhaps anticipation.  And in that moment he stops and bids me look around.  I pull my eyes away from his, they're drawn to one object and there's no question:  There stands a cross, so present, like a strong declaration  that for me the Son of God was driven to a grave in the ground.

I'm taken completely off guard and feel tears start to well up.  I look into the face of my companion, but he's been transformed.  He wears a kingly robe and on his head a crown, and his face shines.  And for the first time he speaks, "This is the cup, This is the cup I drank for you, so that you could be reborn.  So that you would come to this place and I would make you mine."

On my knees my tears are streaming now and he's smiling so beautifully.  "I saw you before you were in this world," he says,  "And not for works of righteousness which you have done,

but you were chosen for my own glory."  He bids me leave my burdens at the cross and tells me he will set me in a winning race to run.

 He again takes my hand in his and we begin to walk.  He tells me of his kingdom, his love, and how I must be a living testimony for him; that I'll fear no harm as long as I'm by his side; at the tasks he'll bid me do, I'll not want to balk; I'll be happy and rejoicing all the day long with songs and hymns; and all my wants will be supplied.

And as long as I'm content with my Jesus and don't begin to restlessly stir, no storm cloud will dare enter into my life.  And suddenly it dawns on me as a new day, my new life begins that this is the Place of which I once heard, where there is no darkness, no sadness, no strife.  And that wondrous beautiful Place is in my dear sweet Jesus' arms!

A Flower For My King

I shared this on facebook, but it was so beautiful and so touching that I decided to share on my blog as well.  The author of this poem lost his baby girl just before birth.  Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

A Flower for My King

As He walked amongst my flower garden
In the still of night
His eyes fell upon a blossom
Much to His delight

Though still not fully bloomed
Her time was very near
This precious little Violet
To everyone so dear

The Lord chose to pick this blossom
For His very own
To bring home to His kingdom
And display before His throne

At the coming of the morning
We arose to meet the day
Joyfully anticipating
The blooming of our babe

Completely unprepared were we
On that January eighth
For where once was joy and comfort
Was suddenly our grief

Nine long months we had been waiting
Dreaming of our first embrace
But when finally that time was come
Light was gone from her beautiful face

Beyond repair of true loves kiss
Hopes, dreams, wishes shattering
Reality there hit me
A flower for my King

Our garden isn’t empty
My other flowers remain
I now look upon my Rose and Jasmine
With a new appreciation

They daily bring us joy
Though not wholly complete
For they too longed for Ella Violet
And wish for her to meet

One day in eternity
Perhaps not too very long
I too shall go to glory
At beckoning of angel songs

Through pearly gates of splendor
Past mansions, down streets of gold
Again I’ll see my Ella Violet
Sitting beside my Jesus’ throne

I’ll cast myself before Him
At my Savior’s feet
I’ll pray that by His grace someday
My bouquet will be complete

~Jacob Close~
~10 January 2013~